Many men with anger issues experience a painful cycle: the rage erupts, it causes damage, and then shame follows. The shame feels unbearable, so it converts back into anger, either directed inward as self-contempt or outward as blame toward the person who provoked the original outburst. The cycle feeds itself. Each episode produces shame, and each wave of shame produces more anger. The man often recognizes the pattern and hates himself for repeating it, but the self-hatred is another form of the same dynamic. It is pain that cannot be tolerated, converting into an aggressive response because no other outlet is available.
Dr. David Steinbok works with men from the Deerfield Beach, Florida area who are caught in this shame-anger cycle. His psychodynamic approach treats the shame with the same attention it gives the anger, recognizing that both are part of the same system. A therapist for men with anger issues who understands the shame component can help break the cycle by creating a space where the shame can be experienced without converting into another round of rage.
