Over time, pushing people away can become so habitual that the person structures their entire life around it. They choose work that minimizes collaboration. They maintain a social life that is broad but never deep. They date people who are clearly temporary. They create a lifestyle that confirms their belief that they do not need anyone, while the loneliness underneath grows steadily more acute. The lifestyle looks like independence. It feels like a cage.
Dr. David Steinbok works with adults in Boca Raton who have reached this point and who sense that the independence they have constructed is actually isolation wearing a more acceptable name. A therapist who understands why people push everyone away can help the patient see the lifestyle as a symptom rather than an identity, which is the beginning of being able to change it.
