Emotional walls are built one experience at a time, usually beginning long before the person has conscious memory of constructing them. Each painful relational experience adds a layer. Each time vulnerability leads to disappointment, the wall gets reinforced. By adulthood, the wall feels like a permanent structure, something the person was born with rather than something they built. That misperception is why willpower alone cannot dismantle it. The person is trying to remove a structure they do not realize they constructed, using tools designed for problems they can see.
Dr. David Steinbok helps adults in Boca Raton understand that the wall was built for reasons and that understanding those reasons is the path to loosening its hold. A therapist who understands why people push others away does not try to demolish the wall. The work is about understanding each layer of it well enough that the patient can begin to make conscious choices about how much protection they actually need.
