Pushing people away is one of the most common expressions of relationship sabotage, and it often confuses both the person doing it and the person on the receiving end. The logic, when it is made visible through therapy, is usually some version of: if I drive you away, I control the loss. Being left is terrifying. Causing someone to leave is painful but manageable, because the person doing the pushing retains a sense of agency. This is not a logic the person can articulate in the moment. It operates automatically, and it is usually rooted in early experiences of unpredictable or uncontrollable loss.
For individuals near Delray Beach who recognize themselves in this pattern, Dr. David Steinbok's psychodynamic therapy provides a space where the pushing-away behavior can be examined without the consequences it produces in outside relationships. The therapist does not leave when the patient pushes. That consistency is itself part of the therapeutic process, offering the patient a relational experience that contradicts the expectation their behavior is designed to confirm.
