Self sabotage in relationships takes many forms, and not all of them are obvious. Picking fights over minor issues, finding flaws in a partner who is objectively caring, emotionally shutting down after a moment of genuine closeness, choosing unavailable partners repeatedly, or engineering situations that force the other person to leave are all expressions of the same underlying pattern. Some people sabotage by cheating. Others sabotage by becoming so controlling or jealous that the partner has no choice but to pull away. The surface behavior varies widely, but the function is consistent: the sabotage restores emotional distance when closeness has begun to feel threatening.
Dr. David Steinbok works with patients from the Delray Beach, Florida area who are dealing with these patterns. As a self sabotage in relationships therapist, his focus is not on cataloging the behaviors but on understanding the internal experience that triggers them. Two patients may sabotage in identical ways for entirely different reasons, and effective treatment depends on identifying what is specific to each person's history.
