Avoidant attachment is a relational style that reinforces itself. The man who avoids emotional closeness does not receive corrective experiences because his avoidance prevents them from happening. A partner who could have provided a safe, reliable connection never gets close enough to demonstrate that closeness is survivable. The avoidant man's belief that intimacy is dangerous goes untested, and each relationship that ends because of his withdrawal confirms, in his mind, that relationships do not work for him. The cycle is self-sealing.
Therapy breaks the cycle by providing a relationship in which avoidance can be observed and examined without the relationship ending. Dr. David Steinbok's Boca Raton practice offers men with avoidant attachment patterns a therapeutic relationship that persists through the withdrawal, the testing, and the emotional guardedness. That persistence is itself a corrective experience, one that challenges the patient's expectation that closeness inevitably leads to pain.
