Relationships are both the primary arena in which borderline personality disorder is expressed and the primary source of the disorder's most painful experiences. The fear of abandonment that is central to BPD creates a relational dynamic in which closeness is desperately sought and simultaneously terrifying: getting close to someone activates the fear that they will leave, which produces behavior that can make the feared abandonment more likely. The cycles of idealization and devaluation that characterize BPD relationships reflect the difficulty of holding a stable, integrated image of another person when emotional intensity is high and the nervous system is in a constant state of vigilance.
Partners of people with BPD in Boca Raton frequently describe feeling that they can never do enough, that the relationship feels like walking on eggshells, or that the person they love becomes someone almost unrecognizable during periods of high emotional activation. Dr. Steinbok works with both BPD patients and their partners, in individual sessions and in couples therapy, to help each person understand the dynamic they are in and to create the conditions for something different to develop. For the partner with BPD, this means working on the relational patterns at their roots. For the non-BPD partner, it means understanding the disorder well enough to stop taking the relational intensity personally and to make informed decisions about what they are willing to sustain.
